REVIEW: Dear England at Newcastle Theatre Royal
Play gets inside Gareth Southgate's head
Football’s a funny old game, you’ll hear it said. And football doesn’t work on stage, you’ll also hear it said, although probably not in the same arena.
The first statement is probably true (although I’ve always suspected it’s equally true of cross country running or quoits – anything with winners and losers).
The second is also probably true… but now I can say only up to a point.
Take away the idea of two teams of 11 squaring up on a pitch. Put the action in the dressing room, focus on the bits that really matter – the penalty shoot-outs, for instance – and you have a way of making football work on stage.
James Graham’s play, directed by Rupert Goold and inspired by Gareth Southgate and his heroic nearly men of England, really works. It’s funny, thought-provoking, almost as loud as St James’ Park or Wembley and an absolute blast.
I know people in the first night audience who wouldn’t know one end of a footballer from another but who were sucking their half time oranges with glee, adrenalin pumping.
Would England get their act together in the second half? Would they finally do what England players always seem required to do and win a penalty shoot-out? Everyone was wrapped up in the game… er, play.
And I spent the duration on the subs’ bench with Marcus Rashford… but we’ll come to that.
Technically, as you’d hope from a National Theatre main house touring production, Dear England is masterful. A great hoop of light hangs over the stage and as a projection of Wembley Stadium rises to meet it and the anthemic music cranks up, you’d swear you were there, caught up in the moment.
It begins at the beginning, the departure of ‘Big Sam’ Allardyce from the hot seat after just one game – his 100% record as England manager intact, victory having been secured – to be replaced, temporarily at least, by the nice but rather earnest chap who had been taking care of the under 21s.
They’re chalk and cheese, Sam and Gareth, the latter given to handing out pastries to the bemusement of the time-served coaches who reckon the solution to England’s ills is more of the same on the training ground… only harder and shoutier.
It has to be said that the Gregs – Dyke and Clarke, the Football Association men in suits – have their doubts about Southgate.
Ian Bartholomew as FA Chairman Greg Dyke (who, incidentally, began his journalism career in the Bigg Market, working on The Journal) got a laugh on opening night by comparing the job of managing England to that of running the BBC.
“I should know,” he hollers. The jovially potty-mouthed Dyke was director general before being sacked.
There’s a wonderfully cartoonish, comic strip quality to Dear England with famous faces popping up throughout – a succession of Prime Ministers (May, Truss, that blond bloke who stammers in Latin) and past England managers, bluff, old school Sam followed by cool Swede Sven-Göran Erikkson and inscrutable Italian Fabio Capello, with translator.
But that’s all in the past. Gareth’s in charge now. David Sturzaker has him to a tee – the stance, the waistcoat (chosen from a variety of ‘looks’ presented to him), the furrowed brow demeanour.
He brings in psychologist Pippa Grange (Samantha Womack) to get inside the players’ heads and flip a losing mentality.
The players, of course, are nonplussed.
But they are brilliantly played, with little real-life traits to make them recognisable to those in the know. Several of the actors bringing them to life are fresh out of drama school and, I’d suggest, still pinching themselves for landing roles in this.
Oscar Gough nails Harry Kane, more eloquent on his feet than with his words, and Connor Hawker has fun as Harry Maguire. Ashley Byam’s Raheem Sterling is a dressing room sceptic, not easily sold on a psychological approach to winning.
A shout out, too, to local lads Jake Ashton-Nelson, a Newcastle actor playing Wearside-raised Jordan Henderson with aplomb, and Jack Maddison, a Mackem playing another Mackem, livewire goalie Jordan Pickford, and getting a lot of laughs along the way.
Jayden Hanley, on the other hand, was out of action with a niggle, watching fellow actor Ebube Chukwuma get the Marcus Rashford glory. I know this because he was sitting next to us in the stalls, cheering England on. He signed my programme.
We follow the journey of these young men and their complex manager, sharing in their triumphs and disappointments at World Cups and Euros and witnessing Southgate wrestle with his own demon, a famous penalty miss at Euro ’96, and stubbornly keeping the psychologist at bay.
Crucial matches whizz by in a technological whirl, scores flashed above the stage, and with brief celebrations or otherwise in the dressing room afterwards.
Southgate wrote his ‘Dear England’ open letter to the nation because, for obvious reasons, he was averse to social media. His appeal to understanding, to our better nature, prompts heart-searching in the group, the players urged to share their feelings about the England flag and all it represents, for good or ill.
Football’s ugly side is touched upon, notably the racism and hostility directed at some of the young black players after penalty misses in a Wembley final. It’s an uncomfortable reminder.
England never did win a tournament under Gareth Southgate but it’s acknowledged in the play that he put them on a more promising trajectory.
James Graham’s updating allows for the entry of his successor, the German Thomas Tuchel (another part for the versatile Ian Kirkby who does a very good Gary Lineker), making no promise that he won’t change course.
And there’s acknowledgement that while the wait goes on for England’s men, our Lionesses – represented by actress Natalie Boakye - have lifted silverware twice in the Euros.
Courtney George, among her many roles, gives us Lionesses manager Sarina Wiegman, triumphantly but with characteristic coolness rubbing a little salt into Gareth’s wounds.
It’s Sweet Caroline, of course, that has the audience on its feet at the end. And it’s been quite a ride. If you’ve a ticket, you’ve a treat in store.
Dear England runs until Saturday, November 15. Still tickets available from the Theatre Royal website.